This
is one of my favorite pictures of my son. He is just a few months past
three here. But he is doing his favorite thing in the world, reading to
one of his friends.
No, he isn't actually reading. Mostly he would
choose a book and then sit down with his buddy du jour and babble about
the pictures, or the colors or point out letters. He has the lecture
demeanor of a Ivy League professor when he is on a roll, and none of his
stuffed friends have escaped his monologues. These days he lectures on
plate tectonics or volcanoes on Mars but in those days he was just happy
to point out an A. Throughout his preschool years, books remained his
favorite toys. Always he would choose a book over even the most
sensational light up, noise making toy.
Then,
just before his fifth birthday, he started kindergarten. The child who
begged me to teach him to write at the age of three, stopped writing.
His art which often included waterfalls, spaceships and forests of trees
with bright fully developed color schemes, suddenly were again stick
figures and scribbles in monochromatic colors. Sketch books, which had
been a common request were no longer asked for, no longer noticed when
we were out shopping. His books, lovingly chosen, began to gather dust.
Every page of school work, even things he had been doing for years, became a fight
to get finished. I have
chronicled in other posts the issues we had with his education and his hellish kindergarten year, so I won't go into that here.
There is very little more frustrating for a parent than knowing your
child is fully capable, has all the necessary skills and just won't do
it. What is worse is not knowing if the reason he won't is because he is
just lazy or because he honestly thinks he can't do it. I chose to
believe the latter and pushed through the battles of the last school
year on that belief. Luckily his teachers agreed with me. Nothing in all
their interactions with him said laziness to them. He did not come off
as an apathetic child, but rather a child with an enthusiasm for
learning that was completely contrary with his lack of willingness to
try. I have often caught him reading. Labels on food cans at the grocery
store, or street signs or the synopsis of a television program. Still
if you were to ask him to read the word he just said he would insist
that he was not able to. It's enough to drive a parent to baldness.
Through
his online school he has been able to put the focus on his school
work and take the spotlight off his behavior issues, quirks and tics. He
made all A's last year. I'll tell you though, I never looked forward to
summer more. Every lesson was a struggle for us. That was the rub. If
he struggled and only pulled in C's I would have been happy. I always had
classes I busted my butt for and couldn't pull the grades. But he always
came out shining in the end. The skill was there. It was getting him to act on
that skill that was the struggle.
Slowly
he has begun to come back to us. The art came first. Bolstered by
actual art lessons and projects for school, he has regained the
confidence to experiment and relearned the enjoyment of putting a pencil
or a crayon to paper and seeing what will come out of it. He even
writes for fun now. Not very well. Often it's phonetic, barely legible
and well below grade level but he WRITES. Recently he has even combined
those actions as he has developed a love of making comic books. I have
dozens of science journals chronicling the moons phases or text books
about rocks or schematics for new and improved iron man suits in his art
cabinet. Lately sketch books have been on the weekly grocery request
list. He really does fill them up that fast. His art is once again full
figured people and animals with texture and detailed vehicles and
buildings.
Then,
out of the blue, he read to me. He picked up a book he hasn't touched
voluntarily in more time than I care to admit and he read the book to me
cover to cover. Sure, it was Hop on Pop. Again, well below grade level
and far below what he actually is capable of, but... He didn't whine or
fidget. He was surprised when the last page of the book turned. I held
my celebration in check, because I still didn't know what the school day
would bring. Would he read his assignment to me? Would give me the
usual grief about vocabulary and writing as he did for hours every
single day.
The
truth is, he didn't. He was actually through almost the entire school
day, achieved in record time, before he started to fuss about hating to
write and not knowing how to read his text book. A major victory, I
thought. That is, until later that evening when he brought out another
book and crawled into my lap and read to me. Cover to cover. Something
that even the promise of owning his very own video camera hasn't been able to induce in recent months.
I
pulled him out of the public school system that it not only failed to
teach him forward but was responsible for his regress. I didn't think I
could do better than a trained teacher so I chose a program for him that
incorporated teachers I could fall back on. I wish I could take full
credit for his success, after all I am the one who trudges through the
assignments with him each day. The one who bears the brunt of his daily
meltdowns over the simplest tasks, but I did what any parent
should. I explained to his teacher what I observed about his study
habits. She made it clear to him that she would grade him hard and
expected much from him. She found him a class, once a week to tutor him
in reading and writing skills. Then she found him a website where he
could read full sized books, with tools for listening to the words and
quizzes at the end. Much like starfall.com, which I love for reading
help, but longer more scholastic type books with a wider subject base.
His school also uses something they call study island to teach and test
basic skills either in a test format or in game format.
Most
of the credit goes to my son. He asked to use the Wii tonight. He had a
mostly great day through school and it was well before the nightly cut
off time so, I let him. Did he pull out his wii sports or that stupid
lightsaber duel thing? Nope. I found him on the internet channel reading
from his books website. In fact he read not one, but seven books. Then
just for kicks he pulled out his journal and started writing the stories
down in there. There is no substitute for just doing it. Whether he
finally heard me when I pointed out it gets easier with practice or the
curiosity factor finally just got the better of him, I don't care. He IS
doing it.
This
is my kid we are talking about here. I know that tomorrow morning when
he has to record the reading passage to be graded by his teacher, that
he will be in tears long before we get it finished. I know he will
insist that he doesn't know the words and can't make out the sounds. I
have no doubt that we will continue to struggle with this long into the
school year and maybe beyond. But I can't help but be proud of him right now. My baby is back. The
child who loved learning for the sake of learning. The one who made me
teach him how make the alphabet because he wanted to write letters to
his granny. I am certain that the stuffed animals he set in
rows on the floor in front of television, (so they could see the
pictures) enjoy being read to as much as I do. What a time to have a camera with dead
batteries. What a picture that would have made.
